Gilligan's Island: Pass the Vegetables, Please (1966) (TV)

Gilligan fishes a box with vegetable seeds. The islanders are all excited, not noticing a warning saying the seeds are radioactive.

Things We Lost in the Fire (2007)

After her husband dies, a woman turns to his drug addict best friend for emotional support.

Even if one ignores the fact that this is not how people act in real life, there is no escaping the fact that this film is almost as dull as watching a dripping faucet.

Rating: 20

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Mink (1956) (TV)

A woman buys a mink stole at a bargain price. It turns out to be stolen.

Not bad, yet not among the show's best ones.

Gilligan's Island: Gilligan vs. Gilligan (1966) (TV)

A Russian spy is sent to the island to investigate the islanders' activities. He is a perfect Gilligan lookalike.

Very interesting episode. This show looks promising.

Gilligan's Island: Up at Bat (1966) (TV)

Internet Movie Database Plot Summary: "Gilligan is bitten in the neck by a bat and fears he will transform into a vampire as a result. Gilligan's troubled sleep is haunted by a dream that he is indeed a vampire living in a European castle in 1895 where unsuspecting travelers and a famous detective and his doctor assistant appear at his doorstep. Will they be invited to stay for -or as- dinner?"

Brilliant analysis of vampirism. This is, as far as I can remember, the first episode I see of this TV series.

Snow White and the Three Stooges (1961)

Here, the evil Queen tries to get rid of both Snow White and Prince Charming. The latter is saved and raised by the Stooges.

This musical version featuring ice-skating ballet is done with good taste and good production values, but the result is kind of anodyne.

Rating: 44

The Island (2005)

A facility in which humans are kept in a closely monitored condition is, they are told, a refuge from a contaminated outside world. A lottery is run where winners are promised with leaving the facility for a paradisiacal island.
SPOILERS AHEAD







In fact they are clones of wealthy individuals who will use their organs.
END of SPOILERS




Aside from obvious plot implausibilities, this film suffers from a lack of exciting or original ideas.

Rating: 40

Above the Law (1988)

A cop investigates a drug dealer and finds that he may be connected to corrupt government agents. A senator and a priest are potential targets of this criminal organization.

Dialogue and drama is very dumbed down and the action sequences are well staged. The concept of a maverick cop defying corruption is an extremely enduring filmic lineage which apparently developed without any real-life counterpart. In a very minimum sense, it is done with competence.

Saw it dubbed in Portuguese.

Rating: 33

The Fantasticks (1995)

Based on a 1960 musical play which was based on the 1894 play Les romanesques by Edmond Rostand.

Musical. Two youngsters who live next door to each other have a romance which they try to keep secret because their respective fathers are apparently enemies. Actually the latter have been putting up a pretended enmity in order to encourage their offspring's relationship through rebelliousness. Something goes awry when they hire a circus man to help them with their plans.

Agreeable in all senses; I don't feel exactly prone to an analysis of its precise shortcomings if any. I did feel however that this is the sort of work that calls for the immediacy of a stage for best enjoyment. Perhaps this is why I didn't have an even better time with it.

Rating: 58

Invincible (2006)

A 30-year-old man who never played football professionally competes for a position in the Philadelphia Eagles team. Based on a true story.

More of the same stuff about individualism and redemption, not too badly done.

Rating: 39

Sicko (2007)

Documentary about the private health care business in the U.S., and a tour through countries where public health care is available to everyone.

A truly miraculous film, not because it is perfect -- it is not -- or exhaustive -- far from it; but simply because it exists, and by existing reveals the really poignant situation of the richest country of the world. If you take out the interesting but slightly misrepresenting final section -- the Guantanamo and Cuba tours -- it becomes almost perfect, yet perhaps less entertaining. This film is not the final word on the subject but may the gods permit it becomes the first of many. Here are some suggestions for further inquiries -- by way of film, television, book, whatever: public financing of political campaigns, nationalization of banks, universal free access to university education, etc.

Rating: 75 (one of my favorite movies)

La stella che non c'è (2006)

English title: The Missing Star.

A technician who worked at a steel factory which has just been sold to a Chinese company travels to China to hand them a new part for one of the factory's ovens which needs it replaced. He is joined by a beautiful translator.

This is very bad and very devoid of point and significance. Also, it seems to take place in a parallel universe where people and organizations don't act or function in the way they do at ours. The only very flimsy connection to reality is some very superficial glimpses of the Chinese people's living conditions.

Rating: 2

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Legacy (1956) (TV)

From the Internet Movie Database Plot Summary: "When a prince who is well known as a playboy takes a sudden romantic interest in a shy, plain housewife, everyone is baffled and fascinated."

This is in a style not unlike that of Maugham, which is a mild departure from the show's usual one. A good episode all the same.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Based on the novel by Roald Dahl (1st ed. 1964).

A small group of boys and girls win the right to visit the famous Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. One of the children will be chosen for a special prize.

A truly artistic sensibility has been applied to a text which has its share of wit and intelligence, yet is not in my opinion (a grownup's, it's important to stress) greatly exciting. The result is still, obviously, more than watchable.

Rating: 60

Zorro, the Gay Blade (1981)

The son of Diego de la Vega returns to California and finds that the new ruler may have killed his father. He starts using the costumes and mask his father once wore and rises against the dictator. When he suffers an accident which injures his foot he resorts to his newly arrived brother to replace him.

Some basic situations which are funny and a few one-liners ensure the watchability of this comedy; the overall style however is infantile and especially one character's constant shouting becomes annoying pretty soon.

Rating: 36

This Is England (2006)

A boy who is mocked by his schoolmates finds a group of skinhead friends who protect him. The arrival of a man who was in prison and now aspires to be the new leader causes internal division. This new leader has a strongly rightwing position against immigrant workers.

Interesting drama with a fairly engaging first half but with some problems related to a climactic event which is not very satisfactory and leads to an abrupt ending. The insertion of a montage showing the ending of the Malvinas War is also not well though out and feels like an unnecessary filler.

Rating: 52

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Based on a 1921 short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

A man's body -- with the exception of his brain -- is born old and suffers a rejuvenation process throughout his life.

Viewing the excruciating 2 hours and 40 minutes of this film was a real chore. There is no redeeming quality aside from production accessories such as make-up, sets, epoch reconstitution, etc. I haven't read Fitzgerald's story but from what people are saying there is a major difference in that in it the protagonist's brain is included in his "curse". This might be one of the reasons the film is so bad, but the fact is that it is no different from other recent Hollywood productions in both the cliché-ridden script and the TV-commercial directorial style, which are apparently meant to numb its audience into catatonia. The character's condition remains almost irrelevant through large portions of the film -- we watch his love affair in a Russian hotel in full detail, and said condition isn't brought to bear once. The common saying that "if one could get younger one could profit from both experience and physical capacity" doesn't enter into the film's equation once. It would probably take another 2 hours to include it without sacrificing the sappy love story.

Rating: 25

Lassie (2005)

A poor boy's father is obliged to sell their dog to a rich man, who gives it to his granddaughter. But the dog keeps returning to its original owners.

There are several things to like in this film: the actors do their job nicely, the locations are authentic, the story is engaging enough. Of course it is mostly aimed at a young public who won't mind a bit of manicheism -- e.g., the sadistic employee -- and some poorly justified notions -- e.g. the parallel between the dog's escape and the girl's -- where she was escaping to is a mystery to me.

Rating: 60

Dans Paris (2006)

English title: Inside Paris.

A man going through depression after a break-up is looked after by his father and his brother.

Some level of intelligence went into the development of these characters; some level of creativity went into the flow of the narrative. It is not the most engaging of films, and the female characters are invariably unpleasant or hard to figure out, but, within its focus range, it is an interesting film.

Rating: 52

Year of the Dog (2007)

A lonely woman who has a dog as her only companion faces some life changes when the latter dies.

An enjoyable film. It offers an intelligent analysis of "animal lovers" (or "mankind haters", if you will).

Rating: 62

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

Queen Elizabeth I's rivals plot to assassinate her and instate Mary Stuart in her place.

The plot covers basically the same ground as the superior The Virgin Queen. Here, we have touches of M. Delly -- an author whom I have never read, so I may be off the mark here -- for instance when Elizabeth asks Walter Raleigh for a kiss. Oh me, oh my, oh dear.

Rating: 44

Nuovomondo (2006)

English title: Golden Door.

(mild spoilers) A family of poor rural Italians decide to emigrate to the U.S.. They board a ship with lots of other people. An English woman traveling alone becomes the center of attentions. Upon arrival they are submitted to some trying experiences by the board of immigration.

Poor on events or original ideas; dull.

Rating: 40

Powers of Ten (1977)

Short. Starting from a picnicking man on the shore of a Chicago lake, it first zooms out until we can barely see the galaxies' lights in the distance; along the way, we are informed visually and by the narrator every time a tenfold increase in coverage is achieved; then it makes the inverse path at a faster rate until it zooms in on the man's hand; from then on it continues to zoom in, now at the original rate, until the tiniest fraction of matter known to man is approached.

Eastern Promises (2007)

A teenager dies from childbirth and the midwife who delivered the child steals the mother's diary in the hopes of contacting the baby's next of kin. The diary leads her to the Russian Mafia, who doesn't have the least interest that the diary be read by an outsider.

It mixes social critique with melodrama, like the other film I saw from this screenwriter (Dirty Pretty Things); unlike that one, however, this one is entertaining, although the plot has a few implausibilities. One thing that bothers me is the use of suicide in fiction films, which has usually very little to do with how and why suicides happen in real life (note: this film doesn't have any suicide, just the manifestation of an intention).

Rating: 53

De Wigwam (1912)

English translation of the title: The Tipi; The Tepee; The Wigwam.
English alternate title: The Flaming Arrow.

A Native American boy begs for money to some white folks and is kicked and chased away by them. The boy tells his father, name Black Eagle, about what happened to him and his father swears revenge; he kidnaps the baby of the family who mistreated his son. The baby's father hires another Native American, name Flaming Arrow, to recover the baby.

Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har: Scare to Spare (1962) (TV)

At the beginning of this episode, our friends are flying in a balloon who has a hole and falls into a castle's chimney. The castle is inhabited by a mad scientist who has a pet albino monster who is commanded by the scientist to capture Lippy and Hardy which he does. Our friends are shackled and sprinkled with a miniaturizing potion. They shrink and thus escape their shackles but the scientist miniaturizes the monster too, and it chases Lippy and Hardy. They enter a mouse's hole and ride the mouse out through the castle's window. The monster is launched in their pursuit in a paper plane. Eventually they all return to their natural size, and the chase continues.

Saw it dubbed in Portuguese.

City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold (1994)

Mitch thinks he sees Curly's ghost. He then finds a treasure map in Curly's hat. He decides to look for it and brings his friend Phil and his brother Glen with him.

Weak sequel of a weak film.

Rating: 31

Westward Whoa (1926)

Mutt and Jeff are rodeo entertainers. Animation. Note to myself: Augustus Mutt is the tall guy and Jeff (just Jeff) is the short one. These characters appeared first on a comic strip; in 1907 Mutt was created and in the following year Jeff was added.

Yogi Bear: Yogi Bear's Big Break (1958) (TV)

Yogi Bear lives in Jellystone Park. His best friend is a smaller bear named Boo-Boo. Yogi is tired of being a tourist attraction and tries to escape the park several times but something always goes wrong.

Hot Fuzz (2007)

A stand-out cop is sent to work at a small town. Nothing seems to happen there but then a series of deaths considered by his colleagues and superiors as freak accidents begin to intrigue him.

It has funny moments but overall it sports a tame sense of humor. Plus it's overlong.

Rating: 55

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Hidden Thing (1956) (TV)

The Internet Movie Database Plot Summary is such: "After a young man's fiancée is killed by a hit-and-run driver, he is visited by a man who claims to be able to use memory recall techniques that will help him to remember the car's license plate number."
I have a small correction to make to the above summary, namely that the name of the technique is "total recall", not "memory recall".

The worst episode so far, undoubtedly. Very bad. One that you get to the end of and ask: "Is this it?"

Changeling (2008)

In 1928, a case of kidnapping sheds public light on the extreme corruption which plagues the Los Angeles Police Department of that time.

An interesting based-on-true-events story, engagingly rendered. Although my first reaction to the film was quite positive, after my brain had the time to thoroughly ponder all the aspects of it and I had the time to read about the real case here, I was quite more critical. The changes made, while apparently small, were disturbing to me, since they make some events in the movie quite unreal. What the hell, you don't have to go to the above link, I will quote it in extenso:

Poetic license. .(spoilers)

by ColinInLa (Mon Nov 10 2008 09:39:12)

Ignore this User | Report Abuse

---

It's not uncommon for Hollywood to play a bit loose with facts when adapting a story for the screen. It certainly seems true in the case of "The Changeling." Changes were made to aid the flow of the narrative, but "Based on a true story" would have been much more accurate than calling it "a true story." Here are some of the details surrounding the actual incident.

Gordon Northcott claimed that his father sodomized him at age ten. His father died in an insane asylum. His paternal uncle went to San Quentin while serving life on a murder charge. It wasn't just Gordon who fled for Canada, his sister and mother fled too. His dad later admitted that Gordon had told him about the murders. Gordon had complained about a neighbor to the local district attorney's office, saying the neighbor was violent and profane. The neighbor said that he'd seen Gordon beating his nephew. There had also been a complaint lodged by the young boy's mother, who said that Gordon had kidnapped her son. They questioned the nephew and found out about the killings. Among other things Gordon claimed that he'd rented the kids out to California pedophiles.

When questioned, Gordon's grandmother couldn't remember how many husbands she'd had or the names of her children. Gordon 's father testified he knew about the murders and bought the lye the bodies were placed in.

Walter Collins was not kidnapped from his home while his mother went to work. His mom gave him a dime to go to the local movie theater and he never returned. Her husband has not abandoned them, he was in prison for either running a speakeasy or robbery(?) at the time of Walter's disappearance.

The boy who was the impostor was not abandoned by a strange drifter. He'd run away from home and was working odd jobs. A patron in a restaurant told him he resembled the picture of the missing Walter Collins. He called the police and claimed to be him.

Captain Jones was reinstated in the police force and Ms. Collins sued him every few years but he always claimed poverty. He and the chief of police were both reinstated in the force a few years later.

Mrs. Collins had the false kid at her house for weeks.

It was not Detective Ybarra who questioned the kid and found out he was an impostor, it was actually Captain Jones.
(end of quote)

Rating: 60

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Harry and friends find themselves up against a stalinist teacher who takes over the entire school.

More of the same. I missed the previous instalment, so there are probably a few things that went under my radar (not many though, since I read the summary for that film). Some viewers who read the novel criticized the film for being rushed. I don't know, it felt nice, this rushedness. I am not one to require character development in a Harry Potter movie (in fact, I am getting to wish it didn't exist in many other movies). Although I am not exactly an expert cinema viewer, I think this film was flawlessly directed, and sports at least two jaw-dropping performances (Staunton and Bonham-Carter, the latter in a small role). But the text is not strong, and that is the weak link. It's a mystery to me what these people actually do, what they stand for. For instance, what exactly are the villain's goals? What exactly sets him apart from the good guys? The whole ideology of the series is disturbingly superficial and consumeristic. Kids are atracted by this kind of thing in exactly the same way that they drool over the next technological gadget. Having fun, here, is all about the incessant stimuli of new forms of 'magical' devices which translate as power and further alienation from a natural life. Anyway, no one can blame the filmmakers for not being in tune with today's youth's aspirations.

Rating: 41

Stille Nacht (four short films)

Four stop-animation shorts in black and white.

I. Dramolet (1988)
Metal filings which move about, among other things.

II. Are We Still Married? (1991)
A ping-pong ball which moves frantically about, a bunny, a girl doll. This is a music video for the title song.

III. Tales of Vienna Woods (1991)
A severed hand which flies about, a suspended table, etc.

IV. Can't Go Wrong Without You (1993)
The bunny and the girl doll are back. There is also a hideous man with a skull face. This is a music video for the title song.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I liked them. At this point I won't say I loved them. I guess time will tell.

Unnamed porn reportedly made in 1968

It lasts 14 minutes. It starts with two women on a bed. They take a two-headed dildo out of a bag and have sex with it. Then two men enter the room and each have sex with one of the women.

The Calligrapher (1991) (TV)

Animated short about a man and some quills. A detailed summary is given at the IMDb site.

Kustom Kar Kommandos (1965)

Three minutes of a film that never came to be. A young man polishes his extremely sophisticated car with a ridiculous puff to the sound of "Dream Lover".

The Bridge (2006/I)

Documentary about people who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge. The film shows several of those people during the minutes before jumping as well as their actual leap into the void. It also interviews family and friends of the deceased and one person who survived the jump.

What exactly is the point of this, again? I am not the first to ask this question, and probably won't be the last. I will make an exception for the interview with the guy who survived. Not only because his description of the jump and how he was saved is interesting (a seal kept him afloat!), but basically because it's the only instance where we're hearing it from the horse's mouth. From the other testimonies I learned next to nothing, they're too trivial or vague.

Rating: 23

Riding Giants (2004)

Documentary about the history of big wave surfing.

Right from the start, a problem presents itself: how can a non-surfer relate to this? I guess you just let yourself go and enjoy the superficial elements in it: hey, lots of old footage -- wow, what huge waves -- look, how can they do that -- gee, that shouldn't have happened -- etc. A common problem in this kind of documentary is the relentless tone of amazement that pervades the narration and some of the testimonies. It gets tiresome, but again, this is an outsider speaking, so... But I wonder what it would feel like told in a distanced manner, without the rapture and the awe.

Rating: 47 (but probably above 80 for people who are into surfing)

Superstizione (1949)

English titles: Superstitions; Superstition.

A short "documentary", the quotes meaning that it wouldn't be considered a documentary by present standards, by which you can't have anything staged in it. It's about the various superstitious practices of rural villagers in Southern Italy at the time of the filmmaking. I can't really say I viewed this film, since I couldn't understand practically anything of the narration. But, speaking only of what could be visually aprehended, it's awesome.

Mark of the Renegade (1951)

Based on the serialized novel Don Renegade (1st published 1939) by Johnston McCulley.

The action is set on the 19th Century. A man is transported by pirates from Mexico to California, which is a Mexican province. He bears a letter R branded on his forehead, which means he is a renegade. In California he meets a nobleman who blackmails him into courting the daughter of an important Republican man. It's all part of a plot to destabilize the Republic and make way for said nobleman to make himself emperor of California.

The plot makes no sense (funniest absurdity: the hero wears a strip of cloth around his head at all times, to cover his renegade mark), a fact which reduces the potential interest to the series of chases, brawls, dances, and sword fights, some of which try to balance the dramatic plot with a certain lightness or comicity. The cast is good and the pace of the movie, plus its short duration, make it endurable.

Rating: 31

A Mighty Heart (2007)

Based on a true story, it follows the search for a kidnapped journalist in Pakistan mainly from the vantage point of his wife.

Quite interesting, yet a bit dull in some parts, and in others unnecessarily voyeuristic in regards to the main character's moments of uncontrolled emotionalism.

Rating: 56

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Belfry (1956) (TV)

From the Internet Movie Database Plot Summary: "When Clint learns that the schoolteacher whom he loves is engaged to another man, he kills his rival and then hides in the schoolhouse's bell tower, waiting for his chance to exact further revenge."

One of the better episodes in this show.

Passeio com Johnny Guitar (1995)

(SPOILERS!)

A middle-aged man is walking home at night. He greets his neighbor on the way. Before he enters his modest apartment, he looks through a window and sees a young woman combing her hair languidly in the building across the street; he looks at her while in the background we hear Johnny Guitar's famous dialogue between Vienna and Johnny (perhaps coming from the TV inside his apartment). He tries to make contact with her but she shuts the window. He enters his apartment and sits watching the rest of that scene from Johnny Guitar. He then stands up and goes to the window and gazes at the myriad of houses on the hillslope nearby. He just gazes and smokes. He then goes out of frame; we still see the hillslope with its houses while the sun rises to a new day. (End of film.)

Sissy-Boy Slap-Party (1995)

This short film sports a decadent party, apparently homosexual - there is one woman who simply stands apart from a crowd of males in languid positions. An old man, scarcely clad like the rest of them, gets his bike and says he will leave for condoms. He warns his younger fellows: 'No slapping while I am away'. (It continues...)

The silliest film in the world?

Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har: Flood for a Thought (1963) (TV)

Lippy the optimist and Hardy the pessimist are stranded in the desert. They arrive at a ranch whose owner is facing bankruptcy due to the ongoing drought. Lippy and Hardy ruin his last attempt at finding water and, in order to escape death, pretend they are rain-dancers. They must deliver or else...

Saw it dubbed in Portuguese.

Rhythmus 21 (1921) & Rhythmus 23 (1923)

Two abstract short films, consisting of rectangular shapes which move in various ways. It's like an animated Mondrian, if you will.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Baby Sitter (1956) (TV)

The Internet Movie Database Plot Summary goes like this: "When a woman for whom she was working is murdered, baby-sitter Lottie Slocum is excited to be the center of attention, and she also hopes to become closer to the dead woman's husband."

Good episode, with a clever plot and well made.

Sommer '04 an der Schlei (2006)

English titles: Summer '04; Summer of '04.

A 12 year old girl (Livia) is spending the summer with her boyfriend (Nils) at his parents' house in Germany while her own parents are vacationing in Mexico. Nils' father owns several sailboats and they go boating often. They meet a 30-something man (Bill) with whom Livia becomes friends.

Interesting film which engenders some complex and interesting situations in its first hour or so; the consequences of these situations are shown only in the superficial events which drive the final third of the film, and thus much is left to the viewer's imagination in regards to characters' motivations and feelings. A novel would clearly be the most appropriate medium for a thorough analysis of these psychological aspects. As it is, it's hard to know whether the ending is going for melodramatic pathos or whether the screenwriter is mocking his despicable characters.

Rating: 59

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Gentleman from America (1956) (TV)

An American accepts a bet that he can stay alone in an allegedly haunted house for one night.

An interesting thing about this story is a certain circularity in it. Still, it is one of the weaker episodes.

Transformers (2007)

Some extraterrestrial metamorphosing robots are battling for a cubic device which is supposed to be responsible for their reproduction.

The Transformers were a line of toys of Japanese origin which appeared in 1984 but has its roots back in the 70s in Japan. I never played with them but it appears that the parts were interchangeable so you could turn a car into a robot, for example. There were some TV and cinema spin-offs in the 80s, all animations. With the advances in computer-generated imagery, it was inevitable that a major production were made nowadays. The problem with this film is, it is just not fun, the morphing is a fast and hazy thing -- in fact I think all CGI is a little hazy and unreal. I also don't know why they had to make it so long. All in all, a ridiculous movie.

Rating: 21

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Never Again (1956) (TV)

A woman is in a hospital bed and gradually remembers the events which led her there. She remembers she is an alcoholic trying to stay on the wagon and that she is engaged to a man she loves and of whom she is very jealous. They go to a party and...

The dangers of alcoholism. Not your typical episode.